I haven’t written in a while simply because I have been preparing for what feels like the end of the world. While I say that not knowing exactly what that means, one thing I am sure of is that life will not be as it was — for a very long time.
In the past three weeks I have been in preparation mode. I was the one who bought the last five bottles of Purell at the Stop and Shop. I bought it when few were looking for it. I have been shopping in preparation for this for awhile now, and I am happy that I am prepared. The issue is that I don’t know exactly what I am preparing for. Food will not be an issue, so we are told. Stores and gas stations and pharmacies will remain open, so why the frenzy.
The frenzy is real and I think that as we all try to accommodate our lives to a new life that is virtually unrecognisable, we remain uncomfortable. There are many therapists and news segments on managing anxiety in the face of the coronavirus. I don’t have anxiety, I have a basic fear for the people in my life that I love, my mother, the elders in my family, my boyfriend and my children.
It is not a rumination of terrible thoughts, it is one straight forward fear, so I pray, and I cook and clean, work, play with my dog and stay in my home and on my property. I have four new clients, I have a new garden and a new archery set, a new Instagram account for Achilles and my home is immaculate.
I am in a pleasant, calm mental state of being, I am now thrilled to live in the forest — among the greenery, the flowers, the birds and the animals who are my closest friends. I have a new appreciation for the beauty and serenity that I live within. I will never complain again as I have always had the perfect balance. What a gift to be isolated and yet I have complained about it for 18 years. Always craving my former city life, I will never complain about it again.
I feel safe, secure, and we have plenty of room and property. My children and I have been enjoying our time, our space our new freedom to learn without the boundaries of time. We stop only to socialize for moments in time and for meals. We have fun, we like each other and we devour books and learning in the same capacity.
My daughter is teaching herself Italian and is reading about Buddhism and psychology. She is quiet with occasional breaks to connect with friends, then then back to her interests. My son is dabbling in the stock market, playing basketball and has read several books. The first being The Odyssey. He is preparing for interviews in the spring and preparing for Brown University online that will start next week.
He is playing with the dog, relaxing, learning and evolving. They are both helping me with laundry and household tasks that I never ask them to help me with. As long as they are studying, I don’t need too much help around the house. I would never interrupt their studies to ask for help with laundry. It is just how it works for us. If they are free, then certainly they will help but school before all things has always been the model around our home.
We are not without worry and concern, yet I watch the news twice a day and I listen to the live presidential updates. We are hopeful for the future, and my kids are preparing for theirs, just as I have prepared our home and life for today. They are hopeful, happy and optimistic. Our home is happy despite the fact that we will not be leaving here for awhile.
We are not at each others’ throats, in fact quite the opposite. We are more caring and gentle and more appreciative of each other. I know we are all grateful for the blessings in our life. We look at the manner in which many have it so difficult, and we are mindful to always count our blessings. We reflect back on our ancestors and appreciate the hardships they faced for us.
There are so many blessings and gifts we are surrounded with and by that we would be remiss not to acknowledge them. The simple things in life are what matter. I have never quoted Trump before — yet he did say the important things in life are what we should be focusing on: faith, family and neighbors. We are blessed to have all of the above and we remain grateful.