With the phenomena of social media, mainly Facebook, Instagram and TiKTok, we will all be sharing images of our “best selves” this holiday season.
While social media can be a vastly effective form of communication and entertainment, it also tends to create false narratives and unreal expectations of how life should be, rather than how it truly is.
Whether we are posting pictures of ourselves as do-gooders, social justice advocates, working for a charity, joining a town committee, or taking pics of ourselves engaging in holiday festivities with friends and family, we carefully select curated images of how we wish others to see us.
In reality, there may have been people we were not nice to, hurt or talked badly about, all to get ourselves to that place of desired social media recognition; we might have argued with our spouses or kids, we may have been feeling overwhelmed with everything to get done before achieving that festive family portrait, fantastic selfie or profile shot…the list goes on. We may even be suffering from depression, loneliness or other ailments that are well-hidden in fear of what our followers might think. Yet, we continue to put forth our best qualities, while hiding our “undesirable” ones.
Consequently, we begin to feel a loyalty to upholding our carefully constructed avatars, rather than the side that makes us genuinely human and unique, which is also the true point of intersection with others. We may even eventually come to believe these socially constructed selves. The lines can become easily blurred when we are living a “perfect life” with no room for mistakes.
And the idea of our curated self travels with us. Whether at the grocery store, at work, taking a train, sitting in LaGuardia airport waiting to go on vacation or even on vacation, it is not out of the ordinary to see individuals stuck on their devices, failing to notice the people and things happening around them. The world on their social media pages has become more appealing than their actual environment. Ironically, spending so much time on social media, we can feel more isolated than connected.
In reality, the imperfections and messiness is what marks the significant milestones we’ve achieved in our lives. Family, friendships, childbirth, work, education, all include their non glamorous and challenging components. There is just as much beauty in imperfection and making mistakes; and when we recognize and embrace that side of ourselves, we are also capable of growth, mercy, forgiveness and compassion towards ourselves and others. When the standard is perfection, there is no room for reconsideration.
So during this season of gratitude and reflection, please take time to appreciate and embrace your human, imperfect, messy, emotive, disorganized lives. They are what have gotten you this far, not your social media profiles. Even consider posting some not so perfect candid shots this holiday season, which are always more interesting and tell a real story.
