The Bravo Effect
Along with age comes the ability to no longer take things personally, which is not the easiest of tasks but essential nonetheless.
Whether in a work or school setting, or a relationship, this idea is spot on. Unless of course, the behavior warrants a negative reaction; these words do not apply to such a scenario. How many times have we been in a meeting or a group setting in which the flow simply did not exist. Or perhaps, the result of a presentation was not as well received as the confidence we had in the delivery.
At times, we may leave with the “if only” syndrome. We ruminate about each word, each slide, each photo and wonder if only we had shifted something, the outcome would have been different. We wonder if this person liked it or that person was offended by it; perhaps we were too bold or not bold enough.
We leave feeling discouraged and with a lack of confidence because we sought approval. We take it personally if someone does not like our idea. This holds true for personal relationships. We revisit every word spoken or written when we hit a bump in a relationship. The internal angst: What did we do or say that may have been offensive or perceived inaccurately? It is this turmoil of self-reflection that is often a huge waste of time. Again, if the behavior warranted a negative reaction, these words do not apply.
If things are status quo, and a person behaves differently or negatively, more often than not the issue is with the person. It is not about us, our delivery, our words, our expression. We are too hard on ourselves. We simply cannot control the behavior of others. It is also an issue of what may or may not be going on in a person’s interior life. Perhaps they are going through a divorce, have a sick parent, a child who is creating issues, financial problems. Life is full of instability at any given time, outside forces that create angst for an individual.
They do not have a thing to do with us or our words, our delivery or our work ethic. We must not take on the issues that do not belong to us. We need to perseverate on self-improvement and be willing to mold and morph ourselves into the next better version. There is always room to improve; we need to focus on that, not on why someone is rejecting us or our work.
We would like to think that if we do our part, care, share, love, work, play, give, react, on the same level as our peers, our colleagues, our friends, our lovers, we will get the same in return. Life is not always fair nor do others always have the same amount to contribute as we do. So how do we address it without losing our own sense of self?
If we do our best, bring our best and are consistent in doing our best; therein lies the answer. Not everyone is going to love our presentation, our essay, our delivery or who we are and what we represent. It is indeed a difficult concept, but once we grasp it we free ourselves. We can also decide if what we receive is enough. This requires having the ability to accept others’ shortcomings. That is up to each individual and their personal tolerance level. What suits one may be a nightmare for the next.
If we accept what is, we free ourselves and let go of the waiting or pining for a response that may not come. We spare ourself the disappointment of lack of reciprocity. In essence we toughen up and forge ahead. Someone may not like our work, but someone else actually will. Someone will admire our work, appreciate our efforts, and see us shine.
Rest assured, it will not be everyone, so lose that idea. Continue forging ahead with vigor, enthusiasm and light. When our light is reflected and we light up someone’s world, we will find satisfaction. The work environment that didn’t mesh with us was a learning experience. The person who hated our presentation, we must embrace that as well. The relationship that did not measure up was a heartfelt disappointment indeed.
All of these things are simply a page in our book of life. We learn as we go; enrichment is the key. Keep forging ahead, expect good things and positive results. Our uplifting Karma will always attract likeness, and if we stop looking for confidence outside of ourselves, we will surely find it inside of ourselves.
Work hard, play hard and keep shining even on a cloudy day. It will pass, and the warmth of the sunshine will come upon our face again, assuring us that there is warmth in the world if we continue to seek it.