If you have ever been a caregiver during the holidays, you know how stressful it can be when caregiving tasks already fill your day. Heap the expectations of a joy-filled season on top of that, and there is real potential for feelings of guilt, anger, resentment, and complete fatigue to take over. Many caregivers are constantly exhausted, and sometimes just putting one foot in front of the other seems daunting. It can be tempting to hide away until after the holidays to avoid dealing with the added stress. So if you find yourself relating to any of these feelings, please read on to make your days a bit easier.
Give yourself permission to put self-care at the top of the list.
You know that you cannot give what you do not have to others, but that is just plain easier said than done. Some family and friends may have more flexibility to give you much-needed breaks to exercise, sleep, treat yourself to some time with friends or to just do nothing.
Instead of trying to do it all yourself, let someone help.
Driving to doctor visits, picking up prescriptions, changing beds, grocery shopping, fixing meals and keeping the house clean can keep you going 24/7. Friends are usually looking for ways to be helpful, especially during the holidays. It will bless you both if you take them up on their offers or ask for what you need.
Think about what makes your heart happy when it comes to celebrating the holidays.
Do those things and eliminate the rest even though you might want to do more. Instead of doing all the decorating, ask a friend if they would do it for you. Send an email instead of cards or have someone help you address envelopes. If hosting the annual holiday gathering feels like too much to manage this year, ask someone else to host. If you still want to host but want less responsibility, let others bring the food.
Take control of your mind and guard against negative self-talk.
If you typically do everything yourself, this can be a particularly complicated time of year. On one hand, you know you need help, but on the other hand, you hate to seem needy. Healthy people ask for what they need and do not feel guilty about it.
Caring for a loved one goes on for a season, and that time may be for months or years. Whatever the time frame, most people understand how hard it is, and there are often many people in your life who are willing to help you shoulder some of the load so that in the end you will not end up sacrificing yourself in the name of caring for the one you love. Reach out to them, you never know, they may just be indeed there for you.
Happy Holidays!
